わたしの がくせいわ とても brave です。

"It Sunday used by computer because is very very free time but at noon study in English to do. I everyday no difference to I break to Sunday. I made a huppy in Sunday. Next week try hard go school."
-from one of my first graders journal entries

During the Kobe recontracting conference (three days that were much more useful and fun than I expected) , I went to a seminar called, "Pera-pera" (pera-pera:fluency). What the funny man had to say were all things I had already thought about but never really attempted to acheive in my Japanese studies. Primarily he was trying to inspire us as JETs to not be afraid to speak as much Japanese as possible with as many Japanese people as possible. It isn't rocket science. Just start speaking and use as much as conversational Japanese that you know. He listed people who are up for chatting like the guys that hand out free tissues with their company ads on them, cashiers, taxi drivers or waitstaff. These are not new ideas.

However, throughout the proceedings I realized that in the 10 months of my residence and limited Japanese study, I've done exactly what I try to encourage my students NOT to do. I've been afraid to approach people with my Japanese because I'm afraid of making a mistake, bothering them, or seeming too forward.

Take the journal entry above for example, this student is not my best student. I have students who write clear, well articulated entries in English. What struck me the most about his entry was how familiar it is. Although he knows a lot more about English than I do Japanese. He obviously knows vocabulary, knows certain grammatical points but doesn't know how to practically apply either of them. That's due to lack of study and practice. So my immediate reaction was to be dissapointed in his regard for English lessons, but then I remembered that this was the student who goes out of his way to talk to me during and after class. Sometimes it is hard to get a grasp on what he's saying, but he persists. That is fantastic.

I thought about my other students who have limited English but speak to me or other ALTs regardless of their skill. It's just a matter of interest and fun for them. It's like speaking in code, just like the number of Japanese words that sneak their way into conversations I have with ALTs, it's a common language we share that most of our friends back home do not. We use it like an inside joke, and most of my students who struggle with English, use it in conversation [or loudly in the middle of class ie, "Ashuri sensei, I am cool boy." (Check out Ken's blog about Emeru)] in the same way.

I need to grow a pair and be like my students, try no matter how little I know (or study), just try for the sake of habit and maybe I will improve. I just wish I had someone putting little smiley stickers on my work that say, "do your best".